RSS
Lunch at work today was turkey chili. Did they put in big chunks of green peppers and tomatoes? They did. And one fingernail. At first I thought it was just turkey gristle, but a starburst was airbrushed onto it, and I don't think turkeys airbrush their gristle. I could be wrong about that, but it just seems incredibly unlikely that a turkey would take the time and/or money to have some Korean lady airbrush their insides. After all, what would be the point? So that one day a guy like me would discover it inside his turkey chili? I really doubt that turkeys have enough of a sense of time to be able to project that far into the future. But then again, I used to think dolphins could communicate with each other, so that just goes to show you how smart I am. Anyway, I started using the fingernail as a spoon. Its small size forced me to slow down and take smaller bites, which was good. I'm going to start requesting fingernails in all my food from now on.
Post a Comment
Comments (5)
Posted by Anne on April 9, 2009 at 4:56 pm
You know that gentlemen with the world's longest finger nails? You should try and get one of his, I imagine it'd be like a crazy straw, but for your lunch.
Posted by ge on April 9, 2009 at 4:49 pm
dolphins can TOTALLY communicate with each other
Posted by Megan on April 9, 2009 at 3:40 pm
This was the best lunch story ever. I will be looking at my lunches is a whole new light from now on.
Posted by Snotty McSnotterson on April 9, 2009 at 2:26 pm
I laughed harder at this than you deserved. I'm also going to need that nail back.
Posted by Momo on April 9, 2009 at 2:12 pm
WOW… that was disgustingly humorous. I see that becoming another essay in your next book. :] My custom van is absolutely amazing by the way.