Michael and Michael Have Issues » Michael Ian Black

Hi!

Michael Ian Black — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 23:56:34 +0000

Michael Ian Black here, just wanting to thank everybody for continuing to support MMHI. The response has been terrific and, as a result, my wife decided to postpone leaving me, in the hopes that we get picked up for a second season, thus ensuring a larger alimony payment when she finally goes. Of course, I have mixed feelings about the whole situation. On one hand, I'm thrilled that my wife is going to be living with me for a little while longer, but on the other hand, the respite is temporary. I suppose I could use this time we have together to improve our relationship, work on our issues, and try to repair our many many problems. Or I could go to Foxwoods like I was planning. My head tells me to work on the relationship, but my heart tells me Foxwoods needs me even more than my wife.

Anyway, as I said I'm thrilled for the continued support. I've spoken to the other Michael (Shoemaker?), and he agrees with me. You guys have been just great, and we really appreciate it. This week is a good episode, which features the deaths of many innocent animals.

Thanks, everybody!

Michael Ian Black — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 03:07:40 +0000

Thanks everybody who made this the greatest #MMHI party since last week. Let's do it again next week! In the meantime, I'm going to return my cryogenic chamber in order to cheat death.

#MMHI

Michael Ian Black — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 03:06:44 +0000

1. nikkimckim#MMHI @michaelianblack & @michaelshowalter I should get personal props and a shout out, i got out of bed with Pnemonia for this Blarty!

Great job, but most people can watch TV from bed. Maybe you need a better television or less pneumonia. Regardless, I love you.

2. jhweiss6@michaelianblack I think you do spend to much time on twitter! #MMHI

But I'm Twittering while curing AIDs!

3. mothr_fckng_pig@michaelianblack good episode… you were definitely portrayed in this episode as a fucking douche bag. that's not really you, is it?

More or less (more).

#MMHI

Michael Ian Black — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 03:04:10 +0000

1. amandastory@michaelianblack Have you ever read what people say about you on IMDB? Do you want to punch them in the face as bad as I do?

I have my people read it for me. Because I have people (slaves).*

* I don't have people. If I did, though, I'd make them read it. If they could read, which would be dangerous.

2. jenmomigs@michaelianblack Were you in Sioux City, IA July of 08? Swear I have a pic of us

I don't know. But I remember you and think about you all the time.

3. seangills@mshowalter @michaelianblack, next episode is bound to pull in all those animal mutilation aficionado numbers that #MMHI has been lacking.

That's what we're going for. After we get them, we're going for the baby killers.

#MMHI

Michael Ian Black — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 03:00:53 +0000

1. Mollesandra@michaelianblack How do you know so much about argyte?

Geology Major, Oberlin Class of '35.

2. W0NDERFULM4N@michaelianblack hey how many seasons you gonna do!!!i wanna hear it from you honker

I'm only answering because you called me "honker."

3. Hep_Chick@mshowalter @michaelianblack We're having a viewing party for "The State" this weekend. Wanna come and hang out?

TOTALLY!!! I'm SO THERE!!!

#MMHI

Michael Ian Black — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 02:58:23 +0000

1. greenmango227@michaelianblack I hate to repeat myself but I really want to know your peanut butter preference … ? sorry that's not really a question

If it's really important for you to know – chunky, just like my ladies.

2. AnneDaley9219@michaelianblack When and how did you know comedy, stand up and television was what you wanted to do with your life?

When they started paying me, literally, HUNDREDS of dollars.

3. ACEandy@mshowalter @michaelianblack Better snack for #mmhi: Potato Chips or Cheez-its? Went with the chips, but now I'm not sure.

Potato chips. The Cheez-Its will give you the runs.

#MMHI

Michael Ian Black — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 02:56:27 +0000

1. yaysarcasm@michaelianblack Did you actually write the zombie sketch, including the part of the sketch where Show kept making you redo it? How meta!

No, that just happened. Isn't that weird? Yes, we fucking wrote it, you fucking idiot.

2. seangills@michaelianblack, were u forced into running in this ep. bc @mshowalter would hav legitimately been hospitalized if the roles were reversed?

I am not going to answer that question, but yes.

3. Kerrie09@michaelianblack Will you watch my dog next weekend while I'm out of town?

Sure, if I can also go through your panty drawer.

#MMHI

Michael Ian Black — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 02:54:39 +0000

1. taliyai#mmhi EXCUSE ME @michaelianblack – WHY do i keep missing 1/2 ur show? & then commercial happens & i tune out. FRICK! ADD? AHDHSDFD?! AIDS?!!

It's possible you're just a terrible, terrible person. But I'd still see a doctor.

2. Polihi84@michaelianblack Wow, those are some white chicken legs…#MMHI

That was a body double. My legs are actually bright green from that disease I have.

3. amandastory@michaelianblack Why exactly do you care what the Twitter world thinks of your mass tweeting?

Because I care about people. I care so deeply that sometimes it hurts me to care as much as I care. And because the death threats scare me.

#MMHI

Michael Ian Black — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 02:52:35 +0000

1. michaelwilliam3@michaelianblack if I miss your show. Is it available anywhere else to watch? Maybe hulu.com?

Not to be a dick, but if you miss the show, you don't deserve to live. So, at that point, Hulu becomes a little bit moot.

2. missydawnrox@michaelianblack What were you thinking?? Zombies aren't supposed to run!! That was horrible! I may have to stop watching this train wreck!

New zombies run all the time. Didn't you see "28 Days Later?" They were all like undead Carl Lewis's in that movie.

3. priorydutchess@michaelianblack #mmhi MIB, are you a stcikler for extraordinarily lrg labia?…just wondering.

No, size doesn't matter. Smell does.

4. katlenhart@michaelianblack With the new DVD out, should we expect to see The State on the road, reunited at last?

Maybe. We're talking about it, but nothing definitive anytime soon. Because the other guys are dicks.

#MMHI

Michael Ian Black — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 02:49:27 +0000

1. Hep_Chick@michaelianblack I can't find a teaching job in PA…can I be on your show instead?

Sure. You seem really cool. You can play the part of "chick who begged for a job and then thought she got one because I made a joke on Twitter."

2. jkrebsss@michaelianblack Taking a break from shark week to watch @michaelianblack & @mshowalter.

Thanks. The sharks don't need the help, but we do.

3. shadmandoon@michaelianblack whiskey, vodka, or both..I call it viskey "two pints for a viskey" id always say

I don't drink because my body is a temple. And because the heroin is so much better than booze.

3. graphicphantom@michaelianblack where on earth did you find that out-of-work porn star/child molester pic that is your Twitter photo? #mmhi

I asked the 9 year old girl in my basement to take it.

4. Joey0260@michaelianblack How come The State didn't get on the cover of People Magazine when you reunited for a show like Saved By The Bell. #MMHI

We did, but that was the week Michael Jackson died so they totally changed the cover.